Chapter Eight: Memory

(i.)

It been a while

Since you left.

I never thought

I'd ever love anyone,

Yet alone as much

As I love you.

　　　　

With everyday that passes,

Your image is nothing

But a distant memory.

I'm afraid I'll lose the

Image of you in my head,

Forever.

　　　　

(ii.)

I try my best not to

Think of you,

But it's not working.

You're on my mind

Every second of the day.

　　　　

You're my first thoughts

In the morning;

And my last at

Night.

　　　　

I remember all the

Things we used to do,

The things we used

To talk about.

　　　　

I guess you never

Realize what you have

Until it's gone.

Because I certainly didn't.

　　　　

(iii.)

My friends came over

One day, and asked me

Why I never hung out

With them anymore.

　　　　

To be honest, I haven't

Spoken much to anyone

After you.

Just a nod or an answer,

But only if required.

　　　　

My parents think

I should see a therapist.

I told them I was sad,

Not crazy.

　　　　

(iv.)

One day, my friend

Asks me out on a date.

I burst into tears

Because I know he's

Only doing it because

He feels sorry for me.

　　　　

He touches my shoulder,

And I tell him everything.

How much it hurts,

And how miserable I am

Without you.

　　　　

He told me:

"You shouldn't worry about the

People from your past.

There's a reason why they didn't

Make it to your future."

　　　　

(v.)

I look out my window

Every night.

And it's a dissapointment,

Day after day, after day.

　　　　

I keep hoping I'd see you with

Your gray hoodie on

And the smile that

I liked.

　　　　

I miss looking deep

Into your eyes,

Having your arms wrapped

Around me,

Our fingers intertwined.

　　　　

But what am I thinking,

Of course you'd never

Be there anymore.

You're nothing but a faint

Memory now.

　　　　

Who was I kidding?

Everyone knows there's

No such thing as

Forever.

Chapter Seven: Goodbye

(i.)

I remember crying myself

To sleep that night.

I didn't know what to think

Of it. I didn't even know where

You were going,

Far, or near.

　　　　　

I didn't want to talk to you

Anymore, not because I was angry,

But because I thought it would

Hurt less if we spent less time

Together.

　　　　　

But you didn't think the same

I opened my curtains and

There to my surprise was

A post-it note:

　　　　　

I know you're mad and don't want

To see me, but I'm leaving

This afternoon, and I want to see you

Before I leave.. I'll be waiting.

　　　　　

I looked towards your window.

Your curtains were open.

Your curtains we're never open.

Seeing them open only made it

More official.

　　　　　

(ii.)

I was contemplating on wether

I wanted to see you or not.

A proper goodbye would be nice.

　　　　　

But I didn't want to see you,

Because I knew all I would do

Was cry, and I didn't want you

To see me, as a mess.

　　　　　

I wanted you to leave,

Remembering

Me as the strong, proud girl.

Not the vulnerable, weak one I am now.

　　　　　

I looked outside, and I saw the

Movers pick up what looked like

The last of your boxes.

This was my last chance.

　　　　　

I wanted to run outside,

Into your arms, but my feet

Wouldn't move.

The moving van started to pull

Out of your driveway.

I was too late.

　　　　　

(iii.)

When I couldn't see the

Moving van anymore,

I ran outside, to your front door.

I wasn't sure if the door would be

Open, the curiosity got the best of me.

　　　　　

The door made a creaky sound as

I opened it.

Your house was empty,

Except for the few boxes that sat

On the floor.

　　　　　

There were still boxes, which meant

That you were still coming back.

I stood in your hallway for a long time.

　　　　　

Finally, I started to walk around your house.

I stopped at the door

Of which I thought

Was your bedroom.

　　　　　

I looked around.

Your walls looked bare,

I could see the faint silhouettes, where

By the looks of it, your posters once were.

　　　　　

I touched your walls,

And tears flooded from my eyes.

I wiped the tears away angrily,

And ran back to my house.

　　　　　

(vi.)

Knowing that you would be back

For them, I took a pencil and

Scribbled a note at the back of

The last post-it you gave me:

　　　　　

Eric,

I'll miss you, more than you will

Ever know. I love you.

　　　　　

I ran back to your house,

And stuck the post-it note on

Your front door.

I walked back home.　　　　　

(v.)

Sometime later,

My mother told me someone

Was outside.

My heart skipped a beat.

I knew it was you.

　　　　　

I told her I didn't want to

See you, and she told me that

You looked distressed,

Like there was something you needed

To tell me.

　　　　　

I hid under my covers.

After some moments,

I got out and opened my curtains.

Your car wasn't there anymore.

　　　　　

I was stupid for hoping

It would still be there.

Then I saw it.

The last ever post-it note

From you:

　　　　　

Indigo,

I guess this is goodbye.

　　　　　

That was it.

No, "I'll miss you too"

Or, "I love you"

Just a simple goodbye.

Chapter Six: Sold

(i.)
Not long after that day,
I looked out my window,
To find something
I least expected.

There was a sign
On your front lawn;
"FOR SALE"
It said.

I was speechless.
So this is what has been
Bothering you for the
Past weeks. You were moving.

I had so many questions
I wanted answered.
Why? Where? When?
My head started to spin.

(ii.)
I ran to your house,
Wanting to knock the sign down.
I saw you standing by your window,
Your green eyes looking at me sadly.
You knew that I knew.

You disappeared.
I knew you were coming.
I ran.
And ran.

I knew you were following me.
My eyes started to sting
With held back tears.
And the back of my throat
Started to hurt.

I had convinced myself
That I was only dreaming.
That you would never leave me.
This was just a nightmare.

(iii.)
When I thought you couldn't
See me anymore, I stood
Behind a tree to catch my breath.
And pinched myself.

I wasn't dreaming.
This was reality.
He was leaving.
I fell to the ground,
Unable to move.
I cried myself to sleep right
There by the tree.

(iv.)
I woke to find the sun
On my eyes.
I must have been asleep for hours.
The sun had started to set.

I walked home as slowly as I could.
As I turned towards my door,
I looked back to find the sign
Staring straight at me.

I went to my room and
Pulled my curtains.
I didn't want to see you.
I didn't want you to see
How devastated I was.

(v.)
You tried to talk to me
For the next week,
But I never replied.
I lived on.
But I was a zombie.

I couldn't take it anymore
However, so I pulled my
Curtains out.
My room hadn't seen the sun
For days.

Horror stood before me.
Over-lapping the "FOR SALE" sign
Was a much worse one.
"SOLD"

You stood there.
With your gray hoodie.
Your hair sparkled in the sun.
Your emerald eyes looked straight at me.
I pulled my curtains in.

Chapter Five: Sunset

(i.)
After that night,
Things sort of went back to the
Way they were.
You started to smile
Again.

I'd look out my
Window to see you
Pacing in your bedroom,
Wearing the gray hoodie
That I liked.

(ii.)
It seemed like there
Was still something that
Was bothering you.
It bothered me too.

I wanted to make it
All better, to tell you
That it would all be better.
But I knew I would only be
Lying.

(iii.)
One afternoon,
I found a post-it note
Stuck on my window and
It said:
I'll be waiting outside.

I ran outside, and there
You were waiting for me,
Just as you had said.
You stood there with your
Gray hoodie, and a smile.
A pasted on smile. It wasn't
The smile that I liked.

Your smiles never reached
Your eyes anymore, but I
Tried not to let it bother me,
Because I knew somehow,
Things would change.

Little did I know that things
Were about to change for
The worst. You said hello,
Gave me a hug, and a kiss
On the cheek, and took my hand.

(iv.)
We walked to our spot.
The bench over-looking the sea.
We sat down for a long time,
Just sitting and admiring the
Sunset.

I had always wanted to do that.
Watch the sunset with
Someone I adored.
You pulled me close to you
And we sat there, cuddling
For what seemed like an eternity.

I looked up and saw you were
Looking down at me.
Your hand crawled from
The tip of my back
To my waist
To my shoulder,
To my cheek.
And before I could take another breath,
You pressed your lips against mine
And time stopped.

(v.)
We sat there for a long time,
With your arms around me
Tight, and my head resting
On your shoulder.

I wanted this moment to last
Forever.

Chapter Four: Nightmare

(i.)
I like seeing raindrops
Trickle down my
Window when it rains.

As I was looking out my
Window, I noticed you walking
Outside. You looked like you
Were carrying the world on
Your shoulders.

(ii.)
I ran outside in the
Pouring rain. I ran to
You with arms wide open.

You hugged me as soon as I
Had reached you. We stood
In the rain for a long time.
I wanted to ask you what
Was wrong, but I was selfish enough
Not to, because I didn't want it
To end.

(iii.)
You told me to go
Back inside because you didn't
Want me to get sick, but I told
You that I wanted to stay
Right here with you.

I finally asked you what was
Wrong. You didn't answer.
You let go of me, and lightly
Kissed my forehead.
And then you walked away.

(iv.)
I went back inside, just
As you told me to.
I looked outside my bedroom
Window, but all I could see
Were the raindrops on my
Window.

I went to dry myself,
And looked out my window.
There you were.
You smiled at me,
But it wasn't the smile that
I liked.

(v.)
I tried to talk to you
That night, but all I got
Out of you were the
Short replies.

So I gave up and
Went to sleep.
I had a nightmare:
You were folding up your house
Like it was cardboard
And you packed it in a black box.

I wanted to ask why
You were doing that,
But I couldn't open my mouth.
Then you ran away.
I tried to chase you, but I
Couldn't catch up.

I woke up and my heart
Felt like it was going to
Pop out of my chest.
I was relieved it was only
A dream.
But was frightened because it was
A nightmare.

(vi.)
I looked outside my
Window again.
Of course you wouldn't
Be there.

I wanted to tell you
About my nightmare.
I wanted you to tell me that
It wasn't true.

Chapter Three: Afternoon

(i.)
Afternoons were always
Boring for me.
I didn't have much
To do.

I found a post-it note
On my window
One afternoon, and it said:
Take a walk with me?

(ii.)
I ran to your door and
Knocked.
You opened it and there you
Were, grinning.
You had on the gray hoodie
That I liked.

Your eyes sparkled and
I was mesmerized.
You took my hand
And pulled me towards the footpath.

(iii.)
We walked hand-in-hand.
You asked what I did that
Day and I blushed when I said
I thought of you.

You smiled the smile
That I liked then
You pecked me on the cheek.

(iv.)
I didn't know where you
Were taking me;
But I didn't care.
I felt safe with your
Hands interwined with mine.

You stopped at a park bench.
So we sat down.
And talked.
For a long time.

(v.)
We talked about the things
I liked to talk about.
We talked about the future.

We walked back to our houses.
It was already dark
Outside, the moon glistening.
As I opened the door,
I turned to say
Goodbye. But you were already gone.

(vi.)
I went to my room
To look outside my window.
But your curtains were closed.
I waited, and there you
Were, just as I hoped.

You pulled your curtain,
And smiled the smile that
I liked. Then, you were
Gone.

Chapter Two: Late Nights

(i.)
We started to talk.
But in the way people
Would never have thought.

I'd stay up until 2am,
Just to talk to you.
Even though all I wanted
To do was sleep.

(ii.)
I loved talking to you.
We'd talk like there was
No tomorrow.
We talked about everything.

I always felt comfortable
When I told you everything.
It felt as if I had
Found my soul mate.

(iii.)
My day would never be
Complete, if I didn't hear
From you.
You became my everything.

You were all I thought about.
I kept you a secret,
My little secret.
I wanted you all to myself.

(iv.)
We never really
Saw each other.
Once a week,
Twice if we were lucky.

I guess that's why we
Made the best of the little
Time that we had together.
It's what made it more special.

Chapter One: Post-It Note

(i.)
I looked out of my window;
Your curtains were
Always closed.
I was curious
about what you did in there.

(ii.)
I remember your hoodie,
It was gray.
You always wore that hoodie;
I thought you looked good in it.

I also liked the way
You're hair looked.
How the strawberry blonde
Complimented your deep green eyes.

(iii.)
I wanted to know who you were.
One day
I couldn't take it anymore,
So just as you were turning
Towards the footpath
I called out "Hey!"
You looked at me with puzzled eyes.

"What's your name?"
You didn't answer
And walked away.

My heart sunk
To the ground.
I was so sure we'd become friends.

(iv.)
I stopped looking out my window
After that.
But sometime a week later,
I found a post-it note on my window.

E
R
Indigo
C

You already knew my name.